Measurements & Midlife: My Date with Myself

​BODY TALK: this can be hard. But today I took a very intentional approach to taking my measurements. After all, this is for two new bellydance costumes I’m having custom made! Therefore, I need to remind myself that this is a moment of privilege and excitement. 

As a post-menopausal woman, there was a phase when I felt absolutely horrible from symptoms including fatigue, anxiety, and joint discomfort. Since then I’ve lost weight and gained ease, energy, and mental clarity. My bellydance performances went from feeling under attack to full of deeper flow and new electricity! This new energy is exactly what I’m pouring into my Sensual Bellydance Goddess Program. 

Moving from recovery to optimization, I’m currently on BHRT. Today was my 9th testosterone shot. This means I theoretically have 3-5lbs of additional water weight at this time, but I don’t care! The dark phase taught me feeling good and having physical capacity is everything! Plus today I went to the gym and ate healthy so I know I’m aligning with my best self and accept whatever form that takes. 

I’m fully aware that I’m still close to the (made up by media) concept of being in shape but when the body begins to change from what we’re used to, the thing we all feel is the impermanence, vulnerability, and mortality we all share. 

A decade of working in Hollywood in my 20’s as a bellydancer and actress definitely caused me to feel the pressure to stay thinner than thin. One of the best mental upgrades to being “on the other side” of menopause is realizing that every body is a perfect body. Therefore, I switched today’s measurement taking moment from one of feeling pressure and self criticism to a date with myself!

I put on something cute, fired up a sexy playlist and decided to love myself just the way I am!

Behind the scenes… full transparency: my bum was on display in the video! My self-consciousness about my bum is real. It’s got dimples, it’s got cellulite, and it isn’t super toned. My initial reaction to my video was, “Oh I can’t post that! My bum is too real looking. This isn’t professional. I don’t look “hot”. Then I paused and thought, “Woah, why do I spend all my time building a community where women are celebrated in all their shapes, sizes, and attributes yet never allow myself the same grace?” So I went on “bold” mode again and posted it with no expectations of anything other than being at peace with myself. Then I got a very meaningful DM from a BDSS (Bellydance Superstars) buddy that inspired me! I’ll share it with you here:

​This exchange is everything, isn't it? Comment with your thoughts and feelings on taking your measurements and let’s keep our supportive community glowing, goddesses!